I love you, too
by RayKay72
Summary: Nick and Jess have been dating a few months now. Nick is working hard not to mess it up, but in typical Miller fashion, he cannot help himself. As always, I do not own New Girl. It's all you, FOX!
1. Chapter 1

Nick and Jess entered the apartment laughing and loaded down with groceries.

"You gotta admit, Day, he was hot," Nick said, plopping a bag down on the island in the kitchen.

Jess made a face. "You want me to pass him a note in class and see if he wants a date with you, Nick?" she asked in one of her favorite silly voices.

Nick pulled a six-pack of beer out of a bag. "I just want to know if you'll be keeping him after class," he said, trying to keep his tone light, though it rankled him that she did not deny her new student was hot.

The image of Jess laughing with her very tall, very blonde, new adult learner kept running through Nick's mind. He had gone to pick up Jess after class, and there she was with Andrew, a guy who could only be described as the anti-Nick. He was all smiles and good posture, and all that Nick hated in everyone but Jess. She made it endearing.

He heard her talk to the anti-Nick in a voice he swore she reserved just for him. But big, beautiful Andrew was getting that now. As soon as the guy left, Nick had started in right away, joking with her about his god-like stature.

Nick and Jess had only been dating a couple of months. It was going great, and great was not Nick's thing. He kept waiting for everything to implode.

Jess put the milk in the fridge and turned to Nick with a slow smile. "I know what you are trying to do, Miller, and it won't work," she said. She leaped over to him, her small, colorful skirt dancing around her stocking-clad legs.

Nick threw up his hands in front of him and shrugged. "I don't know what you are talking about," he laughed with a levity he did not feel.

"THIS is about make-up sex," she declared, pointing her finger at Nick's chest.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Nick gave her his most inscrutable look. "Jess, what are you talking about?"

"This!" she gestured between them. "Admit it, Nick. You have been picking fights with me all week because you know that we have amazing make-up sex!"

Jess smiled triumphantly in the face of Nick's blank stare. _Make up sex? _he thought. He hadn't even been thinking about sex. But, of course, NOW he was. A smile crept across his lips. Jess moved in closer and gave him an over-the-top pout.

"I thinks you wants you some Jess," she drawled. The pout transformed into one of her magnificent smiles that took Nick's breath away. He hoped that smile was one that was just for him. When she looked at him like that, with so much emotion he could not name, it cut right to the heart of him. Nick could swear it felt like he was standing on a cliff, slipping toward some huge chasm. Part of him always wondered what it would be like to fall, while another part – the very Nick part – wanted to flee. That smile of hers slammed into him every time, cracking the imaginary shield he gripped. He blinked. If he lost that shield, there would be nothing to save him from the pain if she left. No wait, WHEN she left. It was bound to happen. Left him, maybe for a guy like Andrew.

He stepped back instinctively. "Hey, I just want you to admit you think Andrew is hot. I mean, come on, Jess. He's hooooot." He shrugged as Jess rolled her eyes.

"Geesh, Nick. You think I'm going to cheat on you with Mr. Floppy Hair? Seriously, he uses more hair product than Schmidt!"

Nick wanted to laugh it off, but it was there – that image of her with the anti-Nick. It felt real, especially the hole she would leave when she was gone. He retreated behind his shield of cynicism and surliness.

"Why not?" he asked quietly. "You cheated on Sam."

Jess blanched as though he had slapped her. Now she stepped back. "But I…that was you…I didn't," she stammered. The look of confused pain on her face jabbed Nick in the gut. He knew he had gone too far. He was the one who had kissed Jess with Sam only a few feet away in her bedroom. He was the one who had pulled her into his arms that night. He opened his mouth to take it back, but Jess had already turned and ran. Nick cringed as she slammed her door.

"Why, Miller?" he chided himself. Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head onto the counter. "Why can't you just be happy?"


	2. Chapter 2

For the next hour, Nick sat on the living room couch, taking turns staring at the unopened six-pack of slowly warming beer in front him and the hallway toward Jess' door. He had wanted to feel safe, separate himself from the way Jess scattered his senses. But now he would prefer that to feeling like this. Waiting for her to come out of her room, come to _her_ senses, and dump him.

Finally, he heard her door open. As she walked slowly into the living room, Nick stood up, but could not manage to look at her. He heard her take a long breath and he braced himself.

"Nick," she whispered. The pain in her voice drew his gaze up to meet hers. From the smudges of mascara under her big, blue eyes, Nick could tell she had been crying. His insides clenched, knowing he'd been the cause.

"Jess, I'm so sor…"

"You're right, she said, quietly cutting him off. "You're right. I am a cheater."

Nick blinked hard. "Jess, no! You are not a cheater. I kissed you. I am cheateree, or a cheaterator. Anyway, it was me." He pulled his hand through his hair. "Look, I saw you laughing with Mr. Floppy Hair and I just got mad…."

"Nick," she repeated with quiet determination, and he stopped. He knew she had a point to make. "I am a cheater, but only because it was you," she said. He frowned, and she continued, "You just don't get that everything is different because it is you, and I mean that in a good way." He continued to stare at her, uncertainty clouding him. "If it was anyone else who had kissed me, I would have laughed, or shoved him away." She put her hand to her hips and smiled. "I woulda slapped him Mae West-style across his keester." Nick smiled despite himself.

"But it was you," she said simply.

He looked at Jess for a moment, unsure what to do. She stepped into his arms and gave him a light kiss across his lips.

"Jess, you do know that a keester is not a face, right?" he asked.

"Whatever, Nick!" Jess yelled and grabbed him by the drawstrings of his hoodie. "I would not cheat on you. You are the only one I want to kiss. The only way I would cheat on you is if your lips went fluttering off your face and I kissed the flappety lips of you!"

Nick laughed lightly. "Flappety lips?"

Jess rolled her eyes again. "Shut up and kiss me, Miller."

He complied, pulling her close. Nick let the sweet and flowery smell of her intoxicate him as he lifted her chin and covered her soft lips with his own. There was nothing like kissing Jess. She was warmth and light. His hand slid down her throat, and he eased her closer to him, deepening the kiss.

When he finally managed to pull himself away, he sighed. "I'm sorry, Jess. I don't know why I can't just let good stuff happen," he laughed without a trace of humor. "I'm a mess, I guess."

Jess smiled, the same smile that made his insides tighten, a smile just for him. "I know you, Nick Miller," she said. "I know your grumpiness, your stubbornness and your temper. You never finish anything you start, and you talk yourself out of starting things most of the time."

He shrugged, unable to argue.

She pulled him closer. "You are also a kind, caring, funny person who makes me feel more like myself than anyone I have ever known. And I love every broken piece of you."

Nick froze. The fear slammed into him full force with an iron grip that willed him to flee, or at least breakdance backward, away from Jess. He could feel himself slipping toward that imaginary chasm, and everything in him told him to step back. But Nick looked into Jess' endless, blue eyes, and this time he decided to fight back. This was Jess. She was worth fighting for.

Nick lightly traced the line of her chin with his thumbs, looked back into her eyes and whispered, "I love you, too."

He pulled her into a tight embrace, feeling the last of his carefully built inner shield shatter around him. As Nick found her lips again, he imagined himself stepping off the cliff. He was falling, faster and farther than he ever imagined possible. But holding her, he knew. Jess would be the one to catch him.


	3. Chapter 3

Now it was Jess' turn to freeze. She stood stock still with her arms still wrapped around Nick.

"You love me?" she murmured against his lips, so it came out sounding a bit like "Moo muvme?" Nick smiled and slowly pulled away. He nodded, unable to meet her gaze.

"Yeah," he sighed carefully. "Yeah I do." He waited a beat before he looked into her blue eyes, which seemed rounder that ever before, if that was even possible.

The sense of panic bubbled up in Nick. He fought to control it. Had Jess been telling him that she loved _him_, or just his brokenness? Only now did he see there might be a distinct difference. Maybe it was just pity she felt for him – that was a reaction he knew well from women. An icy feeling began to grip him, but Nick gave himself a mental shake. He forced himself to look into those eyes he knew so well, the ones that had haunted him for months until he gathered enough courage to kiss her. What he saw in Jess' eyes wasn't pity. It was…uncertainly? Nick was floored. Did she doubt how loveable she was? Or was it possible he wasn't the only one who was scared?

Nick tried to reverse gears. "Well, you know, I just...I mean you and me…We're just…" he stammered to reach a coherent thought. _Oh God_, he thought. _What if she doesn't love me_?

Jess placed her finger gently on his lips. "Nick Miller, before you say something else in your odd quest to ruin a perfectly beautiful moment, may I tell you I love you with all my heart?"

All the breath rushed out of Nick. "Moo muvme?" he mumbled around the finger she had placed carefully on his lips. She nodded with enthusiasm and he found himself swinging her up into his arms – a very un-Nick thing to do, if he did say so himself.

This time when he drew her to his lips, the kiss was slow, deliberate, and held all the things Nick felt he could not say. He wanted her to know she was everything to him. He wanted to tell her that every day he knew her was better than the one before. That every smile, every tilt of her head, every silly face and voice made his day. And he wanted to tell her that he was filled with wonder that a beautiful, smart, adorable, sexy woman like Jess would ever be interested in him. But Nick could find none of those words, so instead he just kissed her.

"Wow," she gasped when he finally broke away. "Mister, you are something." She snuggled against his hoodie. She giggled. "So what, exactly, is a keester?"

Nick smiled and gently kissed her head. "Come on, Miss Day, I'd be happy to show you." He grasped her hand, meaning to lead her to the bedroom, but she resisted.

"Nick, I hate to say this, but we have to get ready," said Jess. Nick noted the sadness in her voice. He made a mental note not to let his stomach flip flop so much when she looked so despondent about missing out on bedroom time with him.

"Ready for what?"

"For what? Nick, I have been talking to you about the reunion for days now."

Nick sighed. "The reunion for your mom's family? That's tonight?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Good thing I love you, Miller." She scratched his scruffy beard. "Now go and shave so I can show off the man I adore to my mom's relatives."

Nick laughed. "Afraid there's not much to show off, Jess."

She punched him lightly on the arm. "Hey, that's my boyfriend you are mocking right now, I will have NONE of it. You don't get to dish my man!"

Nick was about to correct her and tell her it was diss, and not dish, but he thought the better of it. "Okay, okay!" He headed for the bathroom, but paused and turned back to her. She was standing with her hands on her hips, he head tilted to the side and her mouth set in determination. She was adorable.

"Sure you won't join me?" he asked in a low tone, his mouth curving into a smile.

Once again, Nick was graced with the brilliant smile she saved just for him, the man she loved. She bounced over to him and took his hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**_As usual, I own none of New Girl. It all belongs to FOX, though in a way it feels like it belongs to all the fanfic roomfriends. _**

Nick tapped his finger on the steering wheel in time to the music as he and Jess drove down the highway toward the reunion. Together, they sang the lyrics to "How Bizarre" at the top of their lungs. The CD playing in the tinny sound system had been a gift from Jess. She had downloaded all of the songs from the mix tape he made when he was 14. At her insistence, he filled in the commentary between songs.

"Here's to all the girls I'm gonna date in the future…NOT," they cried in unison as AC/DC began to play.

Nick drove with one hand on the wheel, the other finding countless ways to maintain contact with Jess – brushing crumbs from their quickly grabbed lunch off her skirt, helping her unfold a difficult corner of the map, anything to stay close. _Ugh. You have it bad, Miller_, he thought.

Jess turned down the music. Turning to him, she pursed her lips in her attempt to look serious. "Okay, do you remember who is going to be there?" she asked.

Nick sighed. Jess had been quizzing him on her eclectic group of relatives for days now. "Let's see. Your nana will be there, so don't mention cheese because she misses being able to eat it." Jess nodded intently. Nick continued, "Your mom's second cousins are twins who think they look nothing alike, so compliment them on their vastly different hairstyles. They love that. And your great aunt…" Nick bit his lip. He could never remember her great aunt's name. "Um, okay, I got this." Nick snapped his fingers at the memory. "Your mom has great knees, so…Neely! Great Aunt Neely." He smiled in pride, but instead of the praise he expected, he was met with Jess' raised eyebrow.

"No hitting on my mom, Miller," she said with a slow smile.

"What? You told me to come up with ways to remember!"

"My mom has great knees? Come on, Nick, only one of us in this car has admitted being attracted to my mom," Jess said, though he could see she was trying not to laugh.

"Hey, that was YOUR fault. I was just doing what I was told." Nick remembered the Thanksgiving when her very divorced parents had both accidentally showed up for dinner at the same time. She attempted to pull off one of her many ill-fated attempts to recreate the movie "Parent Trap" and get her parents back together. Agreeing to help, Nick had been assigned to flirt with Jess' mom in hopes of making her dad jealous. "And what did you expect? I was being given free rein to essentially throw myself at an older version of you. It was flirting with a Day over a half-cooked turkey. It was too much!"

Jess burst out laughing. "Aw, Nick, that's the sweetest excuse for finding my mom hot that I have ever heard," she said, looking down at the map. "The turn is up here." She looked down and added quietly. "We're almost there."

Nick looked at her. She chewed on her lip and looked…what…nervous? "You okay, Jess?" he asked, placing his hand gently on her knee.

She nodded quickly. "Sure, it's just….It's nothing." She smiled a little too brightly and began to try and fold the map. Nick watched with an amused expression as she fumbled and huffed in exasperation. "Need some help, there?"

"Ugh!" She clumsily shoved the map in the back seat. "There!"

He laughed as he pulled into a parking spot. He turned off the ignition and turned to see her sitting quietly, staring at the building, looking uncertain. "What is it, Jess?"

She turned to him. "It's just that…You have to understand…." She could not seem to continue. The icy feeling returned and seized Nick. _She's got to walk in there with me, _he thought. Nick looked down at himself. _Nick Miller, bartender and full-time slouch. _He thought about all the guys Jess could be bringing to show off to her mom's family. Perfect-haired Russell, violin-playing Paul, friggin' child-saving doctor Sam, even pretty Andrew would probably be preferable to a shlump like Nick. Each time he looked at Jess, he fought with the reality that there would never be a time he was good enough for her. She had told him she loved him. Loved _him, _but Nick had no idea why. He glanced out the windshield. "Do you want to go?" _Do you want to go with me?_ he wanted to add, but refrained.

"Nick, there is just one thing," she said slowly.

Nick closed his eyes. No good conversation ever started that way. "Okay," he said, gripping the steering wheel a little harder. Was she going to ask him not to tell people what he did for a living? Pretend to be someone he wasn't? Nick didn't think he could handle that right now.

She sighed. "My dad is coming."

Nick froze. "Um, what?"

Jess flopped back in the car seat. "It's my Great Aunt Neely. She's been slipping the past few years, and keeps forgetting my parents are divorced. She made a huge scene at the last reunion, so mom asked if dad would just stop by for this one so she could see him." Jess looked down at her hands. "Dad was always one of Aunt Neely's favorite people."

Now a new panic flooded Nick – a real fight-or-flight response to the idea of seeing Bob Day. "Your dad?" he asked slowly, and wished he was standing so he could surrender to his need to breakdance backward away from the building. There was one thing Nick knew for sure – Jess' dad did not like anyone dating his daughter. The guy had a real protective streak for his only child, and was downright scary about it. That put him somewhere between blueberries and sharks for Nick, things definitely to be avoided at all costs.

"I promise, no 'Parent Trap' this time," she said with a nervous smile. "I just…I just hate having to pretend that everything is hunky-dory with them. It's so wrong."

Nick took Jess' hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, it will be okay."

Jess smiled. Unbuckling her seat belt, she leaned in against Nick. "God, I am so glad you are here. I don't think I could do this without you."

Nick pulled her close and pressed his lips to the top of her head, taking in the scent of strawberries and vanilla. "I'll be right here, Day."

She tilted her head to look into his eyes and sighed. The smile she gave him melted every inch of him. Jess brushed her hand across his cheek as her lips gently pushed to his. "Did I mention I love you?"

He leaned in and returned the kiss that in a way that was meant to let her know he'd be there for as long as she needed him. It was a kiss of promise, of possession. He was walking into that room with Jessica Day, and everyone would know she was his – even her rather frightening dad.

She pulled away reluctantly. "Okay," she sighed. "Let's do this, Miller."


	5. Chapter 5

Nick blanched as he entered the ballroom. The place was decked out in a burst of colors with streamers and balloons everywhere. Dozens of people moved in a flurry from one group to the next, all decked in bright colors, floral patterns and hats. _It looks like a rainbow got into a fight with a unicorn and they both exploded_, Nick thought. He sighed.

Jess giggled at the room. "Yeah, this makes my parties look lame," she said, squeezing Nick's hand. "You gonna be okay, there, cowboy? Or is this shindig a little too snazzy?"

Nick blinked a few times. I'm just waiting for my eyes to focus again."

Jess punched him lightly on the arm. Before she could respond, she and Nick were engulfed in a vice-like hug from behind.

"Jess! Nick! You're here!" Jess' mom squeezed them both harder, until Nick felt his eyeballs might pop out of his head. "Hi, Mrs. Day," he managed to choke.

She dropped her arms and waggled her finger at Nick. "Call me, Joan, you sweet boy," she said, and turned to Jess and embraced her again.

"Air, mom. Air is good," Jess squeaked. Her mom laughed and let go. "I'm so glad you are here. People have been asking about meeting your young man."

"Helloooooooooo," cried out two women in unison. Nick didn't need help remembering that these were the second cousins. They were dressed alike, from the vibrant purple bows on their hats, right down to the pink blossoms on their shoes. Jess was right; there would be no way he could ever tell them apart.

"Cora and Connie, this is Jess' Nick," Joan said with a smile. _Jess' Nick_. _Yep, he liked the sound of that_, Nick thought. Jess' smile ramped up about 10 watts.

The women responded at the same time, making it hard to distinguish who was talking. "He's so adorable! What a cutie pie! What a lucky girl you are, Jessica! We love that you're here!" One of them made a move, and Nick could swear she was heading to pinch his cheeks. Nick Miller was not a cheek-pinching type. No sir. He instinctively moved back and did his best to not revert back to his turtle face. Jess took a step between the cousins and Nick.

"Yes! We are soooooo happy to be here, too! Mom, I'll bet Nick is starving. Mind if I take him to get some food?"

Joan tried not to laugh. "No problem, sweetie." She leaned in and added in a low voice, "Your dad isn't here yet, so try to avoid getting near Aunt Neely. She's in a bit of a mood." Jess nodded and pulled Nick away.

"Nice haircuts. And completely different!" Nick said as Jess led him by the arm.

They were almost to the buffet table when a large man bumped right into Jess. By the way he grabbed her waist and chuckled, Nick could tell it had been intentional. _Really?_ he thought. _You're going to hit on someone at a family reunion? She could be your cousin, you clown._ The man pulled back with a small smile. Nick decided he hated his guy, as he pulled Jess out of the reach of Clown Man.

Jess leaned against Nick and straightened her glasses. "Uncle Alan?" she asked. His smile fell, and was quickly replaced by a look of delighted surprise. "Jessica Day? Is that you?" He gave a boisterous laugh, which did nothing for Nick's silent seething. "Why, look at you! I remember a roly-poly little girl in glasses and braces. Who knew you're turn out to be such a looker?"

Nick watched Jess' smile falter and his fists clenched. He'd seen old photos of Jess. Sure, she was always standing next to Cece, who had been modeling since her teen years, but Nick thought that in every photo, he could see the spark that only Jess had. She shined, for pity's sake. She was downright adorable! He could feel himself straining against Jess' arm, considering on a scale of one to million how bad it would be to pop old Alan in the face.

Before he could decide, a shrill voice broke through the crowd. "Bob? Bobby? Is that you?" The crowd parted and a tiny, shriveled woman slowly made her way over to Nick and Jess.

"Why, Aunt Neely!" Alan cried warmly, though Nick noticed Clown Man eased away from the little woman.

"Shut it, Alan," she snapped in his direction. "Go hit on some more of your relatives."

Nick choked on a laugh. Oh yeah, he liked Aunt Neely already. He glanced around nervously, looking for Mr. Day, when he realized the small woman had her piercing blue eyes set directly on him. "Bob," she said with a smile. "About time you got here."

Jess shook her head, and opened her mouth to correct Neely, when her mother pulled her aside and whispered to her. Nick felt his stomach sink as Jess nodded. _What are you getting me into, Jess?_

"Yeeeees, here's Bob," Jess told Neely with a wink at Nick. Joan smiled next to him. Neely snapped her head to Jess, and Nick took to the opportunity to wave his arms, shake his head and do every possible gesture to indicate there was NO WAY he was doing this.

"Oh, hello Joan," she said to Jess.

Nick stopped jumping up and down and smiled slowly. "That's right, Aunt Neely. Theeeeeere's Joanie."

Jess' eyes widened. "You know…."

"Hey, Neely, come and tell us aaaaaall about how you are," Nick cut off Jess and held an arm out for the old woman. She smiled and edged toward Nick.

"Well, I told you how the pharmaceutical companies wanted my blood to make a new weapon?" she said. "I flatly refused, REFUSED to give it to them."

"Good for you. Don't put anything past those guys," Nick said, leading her to chair.

"You see?" she said, patting Nick's arm. "You understand me, Bobby. All these other people act like they have sunshine coming out their bums."

Nick laughed. Aunt Neely was his kind of woman. Jess took a seat next to Nick, and nervously took a sip from a glass of water.

"So," Neely said, leaning on her bony elbows. Nick winced, afraid she might break them. "When are the two of you going to have children? I think it would help matters."

A stream of water flew from Jess as she choked on her water. Nick tried not to laugh and patted her lightly on the back.

"How do you like children, Bobby?" Neely looked at him sternly.

"Boiled or fried, Neely," he laughed.

Jess shot Nick a look that he could swear held a touch of hurt in it. He responded with a questioning glance. _Wait, this is only a game, right?_ It was then an image popped into Nick's head. It was a fleeting picture of a little girl, barely two or three, with huge, blue eyes and dark hair. She was twirling in a circle and laughing. He looked at Jess. The thought of kids should scare the heck out of him – DID scare the heck out of him. So why wasn't he moonwalking away right now? The thought of him as a father was pretty darn frightening. But the thought of a kid with Jess? Huh, not so much scary as…well...intriguing.

Neely cackled a laugh. "That's what I like about you, Bobby." She then hardened her gaze. "But it's no secret that you two are in trouble."

Jess gasped audibly. Nick opened his mouth to head off the conversation. The last thing an emotional Jess needed right now was to hear about how lousy her parents had been together. But Neely forged ahead.

"You two have nothing in common. You see the world completely differently. Bob, you see the reality and Joan sees things how they could be. That might be fun to try out your different personalities, but in the end you two will veer apart unless you have something to keep you together. You'll drive each other crazy."

The old woman's words sliced through Nick. _Nothing in common_. One of his first arguments with Jess flashed in his head. _You drive me crazy, Miller!_ she had shouted at him. Looking over at Jess, he saw her features scrunched up. _Uh oh_. He could tell Neely's words were sinking in for her as well. _No, no, no. _

"Weeeeell, great talking with you Neely," Nick jumped up and grabbed Jess' hand. "I think we're going to dance."

"But there's no music," she snapped.

"Who needs music?" Nick tossed the words over his shoulder as he pulled Jess outside. He leaned her against the wall of the brick building. "You okay?" he asked.

"Um, I guess," she said, looking at him before dropping her head to her chin. "Nick," she asked quietly, "do you think we are going to end up like my parents?"

There it was. He stared at her for a moment, unsure what to say. He sighed. "Honestly, I don't know, Jess."

He eyes shot to his, and he could see the tears starting to form in the endless blue. He slid his hands over her arms. "I can tell you this. I'm not your dad – though I wish I could scare the heck out of people like he does. And you are not your mom – though I do like your knees. We are not Bob and Joan. We are Nick and Jess. And honestly, kid, I like our chances."

She gave him a slightly watery smile. "You do?"

Nick smiled back. "Yeah, Jess. I was serious when I said I love you. That doesn't come easy for me to say. You know that. You know I would never say it unless I mean it. I'm yours, Jess, for as long as you want me."

Jess threw her arms around Nick. "I'll always want you, Nick. I love that you drive me crazy, and make me laugh and make me see the world differently. You make me stronger than I ever thought I could be."

A dizzy wave raced through Nick, and he pulled Jess close with one arm, while he braced himself against the rough brick of the wall behind her with the other. "Good," he managed to say.

She smiled and pulled his lips to hers. Just before they touched, she whispered. "I love you, Nick."

"I love you, too."


End file.
